Writer: Ross Molyneux
Date:Monday September 29 2008
27th September 2008
All aboard the relegation express runaway train. Our third straight 2-1 home loss had all the typical NUFC hallmarks about it. Let`s run through the checklist:
- Totally ineffective first period? Check. Jason Brown could have walked to the Black Bull out of the NW Corner gate and had a swift lager top for all the action his final third saw.
- Two comedy defensive efforts? Definitely a check. The Taylor-Coloccini axis well and truly imploded. The 'new Tony Adams` decided to let Chris Samba have a clear run in to notch the first, coupled with Taylor`s now obligatory finger pointing exercise as a blame passing exercise.
Meanwhile Sideshow Bob and Two Pools ended up so far apart for the second goal that Santa Cruz could have driven between them in a Hummer and still ended up in space to knock it in.
- Minor second half comeback? Check. A brief rally raised a flutter but never really convinced anyone that it would take place. Geremi, displaying a standard of ball control normally associated with two day heroin addiction withdrawal symptoms, could have done better with one chance but there was little else of note.
- Token Michael Owen consolation goal? Tick. This time from a penalty he won himself. It`s now 12 goals in 16 games for our little gem.
- Sh*te passing from all concerned? A massive check (not Petr). I think Opta stats for our team would show Newcastle having comfortably the lowest pass completion ratio of any PL team.
- Dwindling home crowds? Check. From the 50,000 against Hull down to 45,000 against Blackburn. For most teams, Arsenal and Man Utd apart, this would be a bumper turnout. 7,300 empty seats however doesn`t look pretty.
- New coach hyperbole? Oui. Despite Kinnear only being in the job one day he displayed the same tired old patter evidenced by Hughton in his brief spell.
- Lack of Cockney Mafia? Yes. No Ashley, Wise, Jiminez or Vetere. Good old Derek Llambias was there though.
Checklist complete. Full marks for Saturday`s Blaydon Bingo for the lads. Overall it was the same gutless, one-paced tedium we`ve become accustomed to since Sir Bobby left, only at a whole new lower level.
One banner declared that Ashley should stop killing our club. On the basis of the first half it`s already dead and the second half was only brief rigour mortis. The club has until November to arrest this slide otherwise I fear we`ll be too far gone, with the likes of Hull and West Brom already piling on the points.
Date:Monday September 29 2008
More NUFC Spin (Friday May 24 2013)
Lack of ambition confirmed! (Friday May 24 2013)
10th or Else (Thursday May 23 2013)
Decision time? (Thursday May 23 2013)
Carroll Linked With NUFC (Again) (Tuesday May 21 2013)
The Abuse Of NUFC Has To End. Now!! (Tuesday May 21 2013)
The Reality Of Newcastle United (Monday May 20 2013)
Stats: Newcastle United v Arsenal (Sunday May 19 2013)
The Weight Of The Shirt (Friday May 17 2013)
Leading By Example (Thursday May 16 2013)
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