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How many times do you have a shit per day?
31 March 2011 15:22 Post ID: #129742 - in reply to #129738
daftladguy - 31/3/2011 15:20

Toon_NoMatterWot - 31/3/2011 15:15

Thinking of shite tho...... those that work in care homes, i take my hat off to you...

I wouldn't fancy wiping any strangers arse for all the money in the world.. :82:


Wot about Kelly Brook?????? :1:




Nice lasses dont fart or shite..... thats what i used to believe when i was a nipper..
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31 March 2011 15:25 Post ID: #129748 - in reply to #128780
Lord Lucan
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as a nipper?

i still wont let myself believe anything else to this day
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31 March 2011 15:26 Post ID: #129749 - in reply to #129748
rabit71 - 31/3/2011 15:25

as a nipper?

i still wont let myself believe anything else to this day

Rabit, the nicer the lass, the smellier the bog...
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31 March 2011 15:27 Post ID: #129750 - in reply to #129742
Captain
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Toon_NoMatterWot - 31/3/2011 15:22

daftladguy - 31/3/2011 15:20

Toon_NoMatterWot - 31/3/2011 15:15

Thinking of shite tho...... those that work in care homes, i take my hat off to you...

I wouldn't fancy wiping any strangers arse for all the money in the world.. :82:


Wot about Kelly Brook?????? :1:




Nice lasses dont fart or shite..... thats what i used to believe when i was a nipper..


thats what i thought, until i met my lass.. for all she is only 5ft 1/2, she doesn't half let off some stinkers!
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31 March 2011 15:34 Post ID: #129758 - in reply to #128780
International Star
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Had many a shite outdoors when working as a postie.

If anyone on here lived in Wish Hill, Eastbourne circa 1989 and woke up to find a curler in the bin then that was me.

My arse is back at full pelt today. I had three shits "on the board" before 6am today, all taken at work. Had another one when I got up and just had my dinner so here's hoping for more action presently. I can guarantee a six today, no bother. I can always push an emergency one out if needs be, but I don't like to upset my natural rythym.
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31 March 2011 21:43 Post ID: #129886 - in reply to #128780
I usually have one in the morning and one in the evening.
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01 April 2011 10:16 Post ID: #129962 - in reply to #128780
Current Quiz Champion
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Accchh, Trap 1 has a warm toilet seat.
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02 April 2011 00:27 Post ID: #130286 - in reply to #128780
Reserve Team
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While on exercise in the forces, i was in desperate need of a shite.. i got my shovel, and toilet paper, and set of to find a nice spot.. somewhere in the woods.

eventually i found a nice opening, and i decided it was the perfect spot.. nobody about that i could see either. Dug me whole and cracked on with me shite.

Few mins later, i could hear noises in the distance, and it was getting closer. I was frantically wiping my arse, but just not fast enough, cause a few mins later, a whole platoon of Girls walked around the corner, just as i was pulling my pants back up. I grabbed my spade, and legged it back into the woods.


I wasn't a very good soldier like.. got fuckin lost once in the woods at night.. it was my turn for sentry, and on my way, i lost my grip on the string, and couldn't find it.. i was like a blind man in the woods.. falling down ditches and that. found my way back after a couple of hours like.
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02 April 2011 12:16 Post ID: #130322 - in reply to #128780
First Team Regular
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Just remembered another classic.

Was enjoying a golf break with a great group of lads in Ayr, about 12 years ago, had a great night out, followed by an Indian Meal.

Went out for a game in the morning, no bowel problems, we were playing again in the afternoon, and was dubious if i needed a shite before starting, decides against it as their was a halfway toilet part way around the course.

Passed the bogs once, no sign of movement yet, so carried on, however once a gained a view of them a second time, the usual farting, rumbling started, and the need became immediate.

Goes to the gents bog to find that what looked like a cow had been in, and shit was spread everywhere, all over the seat, up the walls, over the basin, i nearly spewed.
It was the worst feeling ever, now what to do.

Quick as a flash went to the ladies, however this was under "renovation", looked around, lent a golf towel, and ventured in. Suffice to say no running water etc.., but had to go, one great shite and loads of farting later, wiped me arse, left the towel in the sink and fucked off.

Poor fucker who had to clean that one up....
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02 April 2011 13:54 Post ID: #130342 - in reply to #128780
Reserve Team
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one sat morning i was in work for some overtime....

i needed to take a hang over dump. i went into the gents only to be greeted by the most foul stench i have ever smelt, went into trap number one to be confronted by THE BIGGEST strand of shit ever no joke it was about the size of a 1.5l of coca cola. it was protruding from the water about 3" hence the smell.

seems someone beat me to the hangover dump

just remembered it so thought i would share


Edited by tiote's lovechild 2/4/2011 13:55
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02 April 2011 14:20 Post ID: #130352 - in reply to #128780
Head bouncer in the gang of 10
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Got to admit that even though i only go once a day they are always a pan filler.
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02 April 2011 14:48 Post ID: #130379 - in reply to #128780
I bet toilet cleaners are amongst the most miserable people on earth...

What can bring us joy and endless 'giggles' when doing the deed can cause stress or sadness to others..

Quality
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02 April 2011 14:53 Post ID: #130384 - in reply to #128780
Lord Lucan
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cleaning toilets isnt so bad if you're stoned
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02 April 2011 14:57 Post ID: #130388 - in reply to #130384
rabit71 - 2/4/2011 14:53

cleaning toilets isnt so bad if you're stoned

I think you would have to be...
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