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I see you, Mike Ashley
09 August 2017 19:33 Post ID: #482035
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Credit to the I see you Facebook page.

I see you, Mike Ashley.

I see your grinning geezer’s head, your open collar, your casual chinos. You’re an absolute lad, aren’t you, Mike Ashley? You’re a Burnham boy done good, pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and then using said boots to stamp all over any poor sod unfortunate enough to work for you. You’re a ruthless businessman in casual clothes, infiltrating the tycoon’s circle that mistook you for a gardener, smashing your way into the billionaire’s club with all the arrogance of a home counties drunk stumbling out of his double-parked Land Rover into The Slug & Lettuce before elbowing his way to the bar.

You’ve always tried to avoid the limelight, Mike Ashley, yet your name and brand is constantly being dragged through the news for all the wrong reasons. You “didn’t have control” of your own company when your warehouse staff were being forced through security checks that pushed their earnings below minimum wage. You were too far above it all to have any knowledge of the culture of fear you presided over, with people too terrified to call in sick in case they violated the draconian workhouse rules. And I’m sure you’ve got nothing to do with the latest bollocks about banning staff from speaking Welsh in a country where it’s one of two official languages.

But let’s face it, Mike Ashley, that’s a crock of bullshit so fetid and transparent that someone’s bull definitely needs to see a vet immediately.

Like it or not you’ve become the go-to face of unfettered greed and ambition, an overgrown toddler throwing money at football teams when he’s about as welcome in the stadium he renamed as Graham Norton is in ISIS. Capitalism is meant to be the rising tide that lifts all boats but it seems to be a painfully tiny minority that are allowed to surf the waves of it, and they do so on boards so oversized and bloated that their employees are drowning beneath the weight of them.

I see you, Mike Ashley, your face scowling and the breath venting from your nostrils in gouts of steam in the freezing night. I see the red priest huddled over the fireplace, his hair straggly, his beard rimmed with frost. You’re too gruff a billionaire to believe his bollocks about the Long Night that’s coming, aren’t you, Mike Ashley? You and Ser Philip of Green and every other hedge-fund knight. But still the priest beckons you forwards, urging you to consider the flames.

I see you kneel, the logs crackling and spitting, the sparks dancing in the flames and coalescing into shapes.

You see them, don’t you, Mike Ashley? Despite your non-believing. You see them marching on the Wall that separates You and Them. The working parents, the minimum wagers, an army of thousands of Welsh-speaking Wildlings. They’re coming for you, and no barking over a tannoy in a sweatshop is going to dissuade them.

I see you clutch your stomach and vomit, Mike Ashley, dousing the flames with a stomach full of stale beer and bile. I see the red priest stumble back and fall on his arse, coughing and spluttering, the acid tang in the air causing him to retch in turn.

I see you wipe your mouth, Mike Ashley, and I hear you belch. You’ve always been a class act, haven’t you? The hordes beyond the wall are the ones who prop you up, and yet you couldn’t give a fuck.

Enjoy it whilst you can, Mike Ashley. For the night is dark, and when it comes to Sports Direct's PR strategy, full of errors.

I see you, Mike Ashley. I fucking see you.
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09 August 2017 20:43 Post ID: #482036 - in reply to #482035
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I'm not on Facebook, so thank you for posting that, that was fucking magnificent.
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09 August 2017 21:18 Post ID: #482037 - in reply to #482035
Aye decent bit that wherever it's from. Personally I see Ashley staying here until he's either dead or certified mentally insane.

Pretending to want to sell the club and then changing the asking price by £100m a time at the last minute should see his tenure through the next decade or two.
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09 August 2017 22:08 Post ID: #482038 - in reply to #482035
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Bravo those words and how they are written reflect my own feelings i would never be clever enough to come up with something close to it. Ashley and his mates like Phillip Green are slimey cunts who have made their millions by trampling over the working classes, i believe in karma and hopefully it catches up with all the cunts in their rich mans club.
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09 August 2017 22:09 Post ID: #482039 - in reply to #482035
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I hope the welsh burn his cottages down ( if he has one) hopefully with him in it.
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09 August 2017 23:12 Post ID: #482044 - in reply to #482035
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I hope a Japanese Sniper sees him too, in his crosshairs!

Well here's hoping the premier league is going to cost much more than the fat prick would like and he'll fuck off and die when he realises that he's not going to get much change out of the sky money.

Still can't believe how a complete bellend who is thick as fuck can become a billionaire, there's hope for us all!
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09 August 2017 23:19 Post ID: #482045 - in reply to #482035
According to tomorrow's Sun. Ashley is taking Tony Jimenez to court for £3.7m in an alleged fraud case.

Ashley reckons that Jimenez diverted it for personal use and Jimenez reckons that Ashley gave him £3m to help him sell the club. The extra is for interest.

What a bunch of crooks we've had around here for too long.
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09 August 2017 23:33 Post ID: #482046 - in reply to #482035
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The crooks and shite served up will continue as long as people not only condone the behaviour but actively support it.
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10 August 2017 08:23 Post ID: #482048 - in reply to #482035
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All true. Good post.

But.

All on here, who were around at the time of his arrival, clambered for him to buy us.

That includes several who posted on this thread.

Oh, the irony.*

*and the repeated failed attempts to tie shoe-laces and distance himself from that fact.
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10 August 2017 17:36 Post ID: #482062 - in reply to #482035
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Canny post toontubby,let's hope the penultimate paragraph is his downfall & he ends up being sent down,kicking & screaming.
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