Newcastle United Forum - Ward 54
Vital Football

Latest Newcastle United News

Welcome to the Newcastle United Fans Forum

Vital Football on FacebookVital Football on TwitterVital Football via RSS Feed
Not logged in.
( Login | register | forgotten password )
Random quote: Sir Bobby - “Their football was exceptionally good - and they played some good football.”
- (Added by: ken_nufc)
Current Poll (see more polls)
How Many Players Do NUFC Need To Survive Next Season?
Suggested By: Talk of the Tyne
None4%
1-312%
4 or 541%
6 or 730%
More than 713%
Vital Football Comment
Vital Members League Table
RankNamePoints
1.CuckFan192
2.Toon_NoMatterWot109
3.MickMartin60
4.Mcnamee6739
5.billybobcat35
6.The Pyrry29
7.keggy_keagal27
8.crooktownmags26
9.The Owl25
10.markylad7420
Write for Vital Football
Breaking League News
Jump to forum:
Ward 54
01 September 2011 04:37 Post ID: #195711
Current Quiz Champion
20002000500100
Not to be confused with Studio 54, the popular discotheque from the 70/80s.

Ward 54 is the cardiovascular ward at the Western Hospital, Edinburgh. Current residents in room 24/E are:

Brian - dour Glaswegian with puss somewhere that needs to be drained. Brian likes the TV remote and doesn't like when people talk over Midsummer Murders. He wears his scrubs like a homeboy, so his crack is constantly on show. Brian farts in his sleep, and when he thinks nobody is listening.

Aubrey Coult - not as you'd think a cool as fuck character from the A Team or Fall Guy but a little unassuming fella from Berwick. He's in for dizziness and feeling poorly. At 84 just taking up a bed for people worthwhile saving. Good lad though and had much in common with links to County Durham, although Brian wasn't happy with the chit chat. Of course Aubrey didn't have his hearing aid so I may as have been talking to my Beagle.

Mike Ashley - no wonder we didnt sign anyone, the fat bastard is in here, shuffling and snuffling 24/7, when he breathes its like two pot bellied pigs fucking. When he snores it sounds like The Blitz and by the time he shuffles back from the bog, it sounds like hes on his way out. Complained bitterly about the rissotto and wouldn't eat it, demanding more food, despite his 12 pack of Walkers and numerous boxes of Maltesers. Mike farts all the time and doesn't give a fuck who hears.

BowburnMag - young exiled Geordie cut down in his prime, suffered heart failure due to a twat of a virus, and is currently enjoying some fluid on his lungs, jabbed umpteen times and wired up to numerous monitors, so he can't sleep, thus is chatting shit on some weird forum, where bedlam ensued following another expected but unsatisfactory transfer window for NUFC. He was grateful for well wishes, some fella called Mick Martin particularly making him smile when he was a bit gutted on the whole.

Nurses are of a particularly high standard - Ciara, delightful young posh thing who looks like a much daintier and prettier version of Jane Middlemass. A staff nurse who is a class act and quite foxy. And an elusive young thing, with great promise but yet to make a full appearance. Special mention to Mike, great lad despite being the administor of artery blood samples, which if anyone didn't know can be pretty gruesome. Good looks, Irish, doctor - kids got it wrapped up with the ladies.
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 04:52 Post ID: #195712 - in reply to #195711
Reserve Team
1000100100
Hang in there mate, you're in good hands.

I'm currently on the night shift of a London hospital's Biochemistry Dept, testing the blood of gentlemen such as yourself.

Remember this important rule: nurses are for looking, not for touching ;)
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 04:58 Post ID: #195713 - in reply to #195711
Current Quiz Champion
20002000500100
Cheers Dave, have to agree although I'm not a big fan of hospitals, like most people, its reassuring. My doctor is back to see me in the morning and has such an air of assurance I aleady trust him with my life. They've all been great.
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 05:05 Post ID: #195714 - in reply to #195711
Reserve Team
1000100100
Without wanting to sounding like an advert for the NHS, it really is one of the world's great institutions, staffed by highly trained people who actually care about the patients. Hope all goes well.

Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 05:41 Post ID: #195715 - in reply to #195711
Current Quiz Champion
20002000500100
FFS Mike now sounds like a rhino with bronchitis.

Brian sounds realty to put some shit on telly.

Old Aubrey oblivious to it all, the lucky hard of hearing bastard.
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 06:57 Post ID: #195720 - in reply to #195711
50005000100100
Good to see your maintaining your sense of humour,chin up dude you'll pull through this nee bother
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 07:57 Post ID: #195739 - in reply to #195720
First Team Regular
200010001001002525
Best wishes Bowburn
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 08:00 Post ID: #195740 - in reply to #195711
Current Quiz Champion
20002000500100
The breakfast orders were wrong. Heads are going to roll if Mike can get his fat arse out of bed.

Mind you, we got bacon rolls which is allegedly a rare treat. Not as much fun with an oxygen up your snout like but I'm making the most of it.

Poor Aubrey is fasting so sick as fuck.

Mike just asked for another roll.
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 08:17 Post ID: #195743 - in reply to #195711
Gang of 10 Wannabe
1001001001002525
All the best mate , get yourself better and try not to upset yourself with the farce that is NUFC
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 08:26 Post ID: #195747 - in reply to #195711
FFS Bowburn..
We took it in jest that you were on your last legs the other day but it puts all this transfer malarkey in perspective yet again.. Football is but just a game anyway, supposedly.

You have to get better anyway as we wouldn't want to rename the quiz after you as a mark of respect..

On a more serious note, we were in hospital with the bairn for most of yesterday as she's been having problems recently but we couldn't stay overnight as the boredom would have killed us..

We've managed to get her in as a day patient now, just to weed out this weird virusy allergic reaction
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 08:31 Post ID: #195753 - in reply to #195711
First Team Squad
2000100252525
Good luck fella and Hope you get well soon.

And twat that Mike for us while you're there! lol.
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 08:36 Post ID: #195754 - in reply to #195711
Captain
5000100050025
Good to see your critical eye to detail has not been been dimmed by this bug BBM. Take comfort from the advice you got when you posted your thread a couple of days ago. For all the slagging off that goes on here, there's plenty of good advice from lads who are genuine with their concern for you. Get well soon.
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 08:37 Post ID: #195755 - in reply to #195711
Hang on a minute bbm - my missus and daughter are nurses on that ward! Keep your beedy eyes off them!

On a more serious note, you're in the right place. Sounds like that infection was left too long. Are you a normally fit and healthy fella?
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 08:39 Post ID: #195758 - in reply to #195711
First Team Regular
200020001001001002525
Get well soon mate, keep your pecker up!
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 09:23 Post ID: #195779 - in reply to #195711
Not Bob Johnson.
500050005000200010010010010025
good luck BBM
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 09:33 Post ID: #195783 - in reply to #195711
First Team Regular
20001000
BBM. Did you even know you ever had a virus? I had same thing about 9 years ago and I nearly needed a heart transplant. Doctors ignored all the signs for about 6 months then on 27 december I go airlifted from IOM to Manchester, Whythenshaw. I was in for a month and was youngest in ward by about 35 years. Viral myocarditis they called it. Said a virus caused it but I think that was more of a guess as I couldn;t remember havinbg a virus. I was 32 at the time, but the good news is they fixed me, I didn't need the transplant, and now I am as good as normal. Don'lt worry they'll fix you. Get well soon.
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 09:39 Post ID: #195788 - in reply to #195711
Club Legend
50005000100050010010010025
Good to read the reports fella, keep 'em coming... At least it's viral, so it's treatable and you'll eventually make a full recovery back to your normal annoying self!

How long are you in for mate?
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 09:42 Post ID: #195792 - in reply to #195711
50005000100100
And its a cunning ploy not to shock you into buying the first round again next time were out!
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 11:25 Post ID: #195835 - in reply to #195783
Current Quiz Champion
20002000500100
ManxMag - 1/9/2011 09:33

BBM. Did you even know you ever had a virus? I had same thing about 9 years ago and I nearly needed a heart transplant. Doctors ignored all the signs for about 6 months then on 27 december I go airlifted from IOM to Manchester, Whythenshaw. I was in for a month and was youngest in ward by about 35 years. Viral myocarditis they called it. Said a virus caused it but I think that was more of a guess as I couldn;t remember havinbg a virus. I was 32 at the time, but the good news is they fixed me, I didn't need the transplant, and now I am as good as normal. Don'lt worry they'll fix you. Get well soon.


It's sounding like the same thing. I knew I wasn't right when I had a raking cough/chest infection but amoxicylin didn't seem to shift it. Few weeks later went out for a 5 mile run and couldn't do 5 yards without pain and breathlessness. Got steadily worse since Bank.Holiday.

New job a write-off, Great North Run a no-go, diagnosed with heart problems on our anniversary. All in all, a shitty Wednesday.

Taff - generally train 3 times a week, was training for the GNR, fit as a fiddle really. Which is why it was such a shock.
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 12:35 Post ID: #195889 - in reply to #195711
Manager
500050002000500100100100100
All this fuss over a virus?! Should have had a hot bath then climbed into bed with an extra blanket and a mug of Lemsip. Just sweated the fucker out FFS!
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 12:38 Post ID: #195893 - in reply to #195889
Club Legend
50005000100050010010010025
steekiebrown - 1/9/2011 12:35

All this fuss over a virus?! Should have had a hot bath then climbed into bed with an extra blanket and a mug of Lemsip. Just sweated the fucker out FFS!


You would think with his software skills he could've just written a program to get rid of it.
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 12:40 Post ID: #195894 - in reply to #195711
Reserve Team
500100100100
Hope it goes well BBM, just be grateful MA isn't turning his hand to hospital management.
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 18:54 Post ID: #196030 - in reply to #195711
Head bouncer in the gang of 10
500010005001002525
Chin up BBM you will be fine in the long run make the most of all the attention and the fit nurses.
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 19:55 Post ID: #196054 - in reply to #195711
Reserve Team
500100100100252525
get well soon.
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 20:01 Post ID: #196057 - in reply to #195711
First Team Squad
100050010025
Sorry to hear about your cardio prob's BBM.

All the best & get well soon.

Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 21:11 Post ID: #196093 - in reply to #195711
Current Quiz Champion
20002000500100
Hit and miss day for the boys.

Aubrey made up for fasting at breakfast by anihilating dinner. Mike was devastated he didn't get rice with dinner and kicked right off. Everything he says sounds like *cough*wheeze*slurp*snort"heydidyakenthenowidyahedoyahavetohahahaha"

Brian is getting puss drained from his lungs, standalone most unpleasant thing ever seen. Put people off their cuppa. Bri is loving the 9/11 programme on STV.

BBM is struggling with fluid on the heart and lungs, but toughing it out like the good soldier he is but looking forward to a good kip because he is exhausted.

The elusive young thing is nicknamed Kitty Cat, and is quite frankly something to cheer me right up when being stuck with needles etc.

Edited by bowburnmag 1/9/2011 21:15
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
01 September 2011 21:27 Post ID: #196099 - in reply to #195711
Academy
10010010025
All the very best mate

Stay positive, and keep those posts coming, very entertaining
Like post
Like this post
0
Top of the page Bottom of the page
Pages (1):
1
Jump to forum: