Vital Football

Latest Newcastle United News

TOTT profile - OfficeMonkey

TOTT profile - OfficeMonkey

ToTT's very own marmite poster Office Monkey talks to us on Mike Ashley, Alan Shearer and his love of all things black and white!

Love him or hate him, he's the poster with a lot to say - and he doesn't pussy foot around! Frequent ToTT poster OfficeMonkey follows in the footsteps of some of this board`s greats as he enters the hot-seat and prepares for some lukewarm questions to be thrown his way!




Hiya OM, let's start by asking your name...

It's Chris

and age?

26

Occupation:

Student

Mile roundtrip to an average game:

16ish

How long have you supported NUFC?

Birth!

How many games do you get to (home and away) each season?

Normally go to a few away games per season and still have a season ticket... although I won't be back whilst Ashley is here. Haven't been to St James' this season for that reason.

Where do you sit in SJP?

Gallowgate Middle Tier, next to Toon182

Moment that`s made you proud to be a Geordie?

Too many to mention. I know I would never want to be anything but though.

Favourite game of last season?

There was a few, but getting one over the Pikey at Portman Road was decent.

Favourite game at SJP?

Tino Vs Barcelona

Favourite goal of all time?

Ginola versus Ferencvaros (the dink and volley!)

Your Toon Hero?

Phillipe Albert

Ever met a player - if so what were they like?

Met Beresford a few times and always been canny. Shearer is an utter dick and quite clearly looks down upon Geordies. Mates with Andy Carroll's ex and he's always been sound, although hard as fuck!

Enrique and Jonas are great guys too.

How long have you been a ToTT poster?

Since the Rivals days, around 8/9 years.

Why did you join?

Bored at work one day...

What is your handle (name) on ToTT and why did you choose it?

Always has been Officemonkey and it was chosen by my former manager due to my disciplinary record...

Best Poster on ToTT?

There's a few but gotta say Old Leazes as I've known him for years.

Most Annoying Poster on ToTT?

There's a few... probably MallorcaMag as he's as thick as mince.

Best thread you`ve seen in your time on ToTT?

The Night of The Mallabars...

NUFC prediction for next season?

All depends on Ashley. Got to go for Europe if we're to show ambition.

Who do you think will win the League Next season (2011/2012)?

Man Citeh or Chelsea

Who do you think is the best player in the Premiership?

Hard to say as there is a few but I always enjoy watching David Silva play. Once he's settled he will be one hell of a player imo. Fabregas ain't bad either mind.

Which game are you looking forward to most next season?

Whoever we play on Boxing Day.

Tell us a chant you`d like to hear belted round the terraces?

Any one bar the ***** ones that the shoe wavers have made up. Can't beat the old ones.

If you could have a pint with any poster on here - which would you choose and why?

Already drink with a few from here. Woods, Daz, OL and Shieldsmag to name a few.

One fantasy signing you`d like to see in a Toon shirt?

They're all fantasy signings under Ashley!

One realistic signing you`d be chuffed with next season?

Hulk

Tell us a Joke.

Women's rights.

Who's your Dream Woman?

Jenna Doll because of her ****.

How would you feel about Mike Ashley, if we won a major trophy in the next 2 years? (asked by Poisoned_Monkey)

I'd still think he was an absolute **** stain.

What would make you start to spend money at the ground again - Apart from Ashley leaving? (asked by Toon_NoMatterWhat)

Apart from Ashley leaving... hmmm, tough one. LameArse and Mildew leaving too?

If you could play alongside any NUFC player past or present, who would it be? (asked by Ken_nufc)

Gazza

Would You Do Jan? (asked by LMM)

She has *** and pulse doesn't she?

Apart from SJP, whats your favourite football stadium? (asked by CameronNufc)

Camp Nou.

Would you welcome back Andy Carroll to Newcastle and the Number 9 shirt? Why/Why Not? (asked by Morty)

Wouldn't welcome him back, but we certainly need him! Never for the number 9 again though.

What question would you like the next poster to be asked?

If you have a season ticket, why do you continue to allow Ashley to shaft you from behind whilst laughing at you, probably calling you a thick Geordie ******? Especially as he won't stop until you stop going...

Cheers Chris!



If you fancy being in the spotlight yourself and have 5 minutes spare to answer some not-very-quick questions, get in touch, by messaging -Morty- or one of the site Mods.



..and remember this site needs you! So if you've read this and liked it then please leave a comment, it's a great marker on who actually reads and likes these things and helps us determine what to write in the future.

Howay the lads!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Morty
Date:Sunday May 15 2011
Time: 5:08PM

Login to post a comment

Recent Newcastle United Articles

McClaren - We Must Attack Chelsea

Head coach Steve McClaren has said Newcastle cannot sit back against Chelsea this weekend, we have to go out to win.

Vital Pre-Match - Chelsea v Newcastle

A much needed three-points against West Brom, coupled with Norwich losing to Aston Villa saw us out of the bottom three a week ago with it the aim to build on this at Chelsea.

The Newcastle Utd Injury Table Updated

Our weekly update looking at the injury table and also comparing with all our competitors in the Premier League.

Match Day Officials v Chelsea

The Premier League have now announced the Match Day officials that will take charge of the game against Chelsea this weekend.

Archived TOTT Articles

TOTT articles from

Site Journalists

Ken Waugh
Profile
TNMW
Profile
Ian Smith
Profile
Rexn
Profile
BowburnMag
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Chelsea v Newcastle
Suggested By:
Newcastle win50%
Chelsea win0%
Draw50%
ScoopDragon Premier League Network Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Leicester City 25 15 8 2 53 20
2 Spurs 25 13 9 3 48 26
3 Arsenal 25 14 6 5 48 17
4 Man City 25 14 5 6 47 21
5 Man Utd 25 11 8 6 41 10
6 West Ham 25 10 9 6 39 9
7 Southampton 25 10 7 8 37 9
8 Everton 25 8 11 6 35 12
9 Liverpool 25 9 8 8 35 -4
10 Watford 25 9 6 10 33 0
11 Stoke 25 9 6 10 33 -7
12 Crystal Palace 25 9 5 11 32 -4
13 Chelsea 25 7 9 9 30 -2
14 WBA 25 7 8 10 29 -9
15 AFC Bournemouth 25 7 7 11 28 -12
16 Swansea 25 6 9 10 27 -9
17 Newcastle 25 6 6 13 24 -18
18 Norwich 25 6 5 14 23 -20
19 Sunderland 25 5 5 15 20 -19
20 Aston Villa 25 3 7 15 16 -20
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News

Newcastle United Fixtures (view all)

Feb 13 2016 5:30PM : Chelsea (a)
Barclays Premier League
Feb 28 2016 12:00PM : Manchester City (H)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 2 2016 7:45PM : Stoke City (a)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 5 2016 3:00PM : AFC Bournemouth (H)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 14 2016 8:00PM : Leicester City (a)
Barclays Premier League
Mar 20 2016 1:30PM : Sunderland (H)
Barclays Premier League

Recent Newcastle United Results (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Toon_NoMatterWot83
2.BLACKBOB49
3.officemonkey36
4.billybobcat35
5.keggy_keagal30
6.Mcnamee6719
7.Sir Laz18
8.daftladguy16
9.The Owl14
10.vin18929