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TOTT profile - OfficeMonkey

ToTT's very own marmite poster Office Monkey talks to us on Mike Ashley, Alan Shearer and his love of all things black and white!

Love him or hate him, he's the poster with a lot to say - and he doesn't pussy foot around! Frequent ToTT poster OfficeMonkey follows in the footsteps of some of this board`s greats as he enters the hot-seat and prepares for some lukewarm questions to be thrown his way!

Hiya OM, let's start by asking your name...

It's Chris

and age?




Mile roundtrip to an average game:


How long have you supported NUFC?


How many games do you get to (home and away) each season?

Normally go to a few away games per season and still have a season ticket... although I won't be back whilst Ashley is here. Haven't been to St James' this season for that reason.

Where do you sit in SJP?

Gallowgate Middle Tier, next to Toon182

Moment that`s made you proud to be a Geordie?

Too many to mention. I know I would never want to be anything but though.

Favourite game of last season?

There was a few, but getting one over the Pikey at Portman Road was decent.

Favourite game at SJP?

Tino Vs Barcelona

Favourite goal of all time?

Ginola versus Ferencvaros (the dink and volley!)

Your Toon Hero?

Phillipe Albert

Ever met a player - if so what were they like?

Met Beresford a few times and always been canny. Shearer is an utter dick and quite clearly looks down upon Geordies. Mates with Andy Carroll's ex and he's always been sound, although hard as fuck!

Enrique and Jonas are great guys too.

How long have you been a ToTT poster?

Since the Rivals days, around 8/9 years.

Why did you join?

Bored at work one day...

What is your handle (name) on ToTT and why did you choose it?

Always has been Officemonkey and it was chosen by my former manager due to my disciplinary record...

Best Poster on ToTT?

There's a few but gotta say Old Leazes as I've known him for years.

Most Annoying Poster on ToTT?

There's a few... probably MallorcaMag as he's as thick as mince.

Best thread you`ve seen in your time on ToTT?

The Night of The Mallabars...

NUFC prediction for next season?

All depends on Ashley. Got to go for Europe if we're to show ambition.

Who do you think will win the League Next season (2011/2012)?

Man Citeh or Chelsea

Who do you think is the best player in the Premiership?

Hard to say as there is a few but I always enjoy watching David Silva play. Once he's settled he will be one hell of a player imo. Fabregas ain't bad either mind.

Which game are you looking forward to most next season?

Whoever we play on Boxing Day.

Tell us a chant you`d like to hear belted round the terraces?

Any one bar the ***** ones that the shoe wavers have made up. Can't beat the old ones.

If you could have a pint with any poster on here - which would you choose and why?

Already drink with a few from here. Woods, Daz, OL and Shieldsmag to name a few.

One fantasy signing you`d like to see in a Toon shirt?

They're all fantasy signings under Ashley!

One realistic signing you`d be chuffed with next season?


Tell us a Joke.

Women's rights.

Who's your Dream Woman?

Jenna Doll because of her ****.

How would you feel about Mike Ashley, if we won a major trophy in the next 2 years? (asked by Poisoned_Monkey)

I'd still think he was an absolute **** stain.

What would make you start to spend money at the ground again - Apart from Ashley leaving? (asked by Toon_NoMatterWhat)

Apart from Ashley leaving... hmmm, tough one. LameArse and Mildew leaving too?

If you could play alongside any NUFC player past or present, who would it be? (asked by Ken_nufc)


Would You Do Jan? (asked by LMM)

She has *** and pulse doesn't she?

Apart from SJP, whats your favourite football stadium? (asked by CameronNufc)

Camp Nou.

Would you welcome back Andy Carroll to Newcastle and the Number 9 shirt? Why/Why Not? (asked by Morty)

Wouldn't welcome him back, but we certainly need him! Never for the number 9 again though.

What question would you like the next poster to be asked?

If you have a season ticket, why do you continue to allow Ashley to shaft you from behind whilst laughing at you, probably calling you a thick Geordie ******? Especially as he won't stop until you stop going...

Cheers Chris!

If you fancy being in the spotlight yourself and have 5 minutes spare to answer some not-very-quick questions, get in touch, by messaging -Morty- or one of the site Mods.

..and remember this site needs you! So if you've read this and liked it then please leave a comment, it's a great marker on who actually reads and likes these things and helps us determine what to write in the future.

Howay the lads!

Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

The Journalist

Writer: Morty Mail feedback, articles or suggestions

Date:Sunday May 15 2011

Time: 5:08PM


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