Vital Football

Latest Newcastle United News

TOTT profile - OfficeMonkey

TOTT profile - OfficeMonkey

ToTT's very own marmite poster Office Monkey talks to us on Mike Ashley, Alan Shearer and his love of all things black and white!

Love him or hate him, he's the poster with a lot to say - and he doesn't pussy foot around! Frequent ToTT poster OfficeMonkey follows in the footsteps of some of this board`s greats as he enters the hot-seat and prepares for some lukewarm questions to be thrown his way!




Hiya OM, let's start by asking your name...

It's Chris

and age?

26

Occupation:

Student

Mile roundtrip to an average game:

16ish

How long have you supported NUFC?

Birth!

How many games do you get to (home and away) each season?

Normally go to a few away games per season and still have a season ticket... although I won't be back whilst Ashley is here. Haven't been to St James' this season for that reason.

Where do you sit in SJP?

Gallowgate Middle Tier, next to Toon182

Moment that`s made you proud to be a Geordie?

Too many to mention. I know I would never want to be anything but though.

Favourite game of last season?

There was a few, but getting one over the Pikey at Portman Road was decent.

Favourite game at SJP?

Tino Vs Barcelona

Favourite goal of all time?

Ginola versus Ferencvaros (the dink and volley!)

Your Toon Hero?

Phillipe Albert

Ever met a player - if so what were they like?

Met Beresford a few times and always been canny. Shearer is an utter dick and quite clearly looks down upon Geordies. Mates with Andy Carroll's ex and he's always been sound, although hard as fuck!

Enrique and Jonas are great guys too.

How long have you been a ToTT poster?

Since the Rivals days, around 8/9 years.

Why did you join?

Bored at work one day...

What is your handle (name) on ToTT and why did you choose it?

Always has been Officemonkey and it was chosen by my former manager due to my disciplinary record...

Best Poster on ToTT?

There's a few but gotta say Old Leazes as I've known him for years.

Most Annoying Poster on ToTT?

There's a few... probably MallorcaMag as he's as thick as mince.

Best thread you`ve seen in your time on ToTT?

The Night of The Mallabars...

NUFC prediction for next season?

All depends on Ashley. Got to go for Europe if we're to show ambition.

Who do you think will win the League Next season (2011/2012)?

Man Citeh or Chelsea

Who do you think is the best player in the Premiership?

Hard to say as there is a few but I always enjoy watching David Silva play. Once he's settled he will be one hell of a player imo. Fabregas ain't bad either mind.

Which game are you looking forward to most next season?

Whoever we play on Boxing Day.

Tell us a chant you`d like to hear belted round the terraces?

Any one bar the ***** ones that the shoe wavers have made up. Can't beat the old ones.

If you could have a pint with any poster on here - which would you choose and why?

Already drink with a few from here. Woods, Daz, OL and Shieldsmag to name a few.

One fantasy signing you`d like to see in a Toon shirt?

They're all fantasy signings under Ashley!

One realistic signing you`d be chuffed with next season?

Hulk

Tell us a Joke.

Women's rights.

Who's your Dream Woman?

Jenna Doll because of her ****.

How would you feel about Mike Ashley, if we won a major trophy in the next 2 years? (asked by Poisoned_Monkey)

I'd still think he was an absolute **** stain.

What would make you start to spend money at the ground again - Apart from Ashley leaving? (asked by Toon_NoMatterWhat)

Apart from Ashley leaving... hmmm, tough one. LameArse and Mildew leaving too?

If you could play alongside any NUFC player past or present, who would it be? (asked by Ken_nufc)

Gazza

Would You Do Jan? (asked by LMM)

She has *** and pulse doesn't she?

Apart from SJP, whats your favourite football stadium? (asked by CameronNufc)

Camp Nou.

Would you welcome back Andy Carroll to Newcastle and the Number 9 shirt? Why/Why Not? (asked by Morty)

Wouldn't welcome him back, but we certainly need him! Never for the number 9 again though.

What question would you like the next poster to be asked?

If you have a season ticket, why do you continue to allow Ashley to shaft you from behind whilst laughing at you, probably calling you a thick Geordie ******? Especially as he won't stop until you stop going...

Cheers Chris!



If you fancy being in the spotlight yourself and have 5 minutes spare to answer some not-very-quick questions, get in touch, by messaging -Morty- or one of the site Mods.



..and remember this site needs you! So if you've read this and liked it then please leave a comment, it's a great marker on who actually reads and likes these things and helps us determine what to write in the future.

Howay the lads!



Click here to join in the debate on the club forum.

Writer:Morty
Date:Sunday May 15 2011
Time: 5:08PM

Login to post a comment

Recent Newcastle United Articles

Brighton Rearranged And On Sky Sports

It has been announced Sky Sports have selected Newcastle's re-arranged trip to the Amex Stadium for the meeting with Brighton for television coverage.

Crystal Palace Wouldn't Allow Townsend Loan

Rumours are growing Townsend could leave Crystal Palace this month, which has seen Newcastle credited with an interest in re-signing him. Middlesbrough also reportedly interested.

Vital View - FA Cup, 17th-18th January 2017

The FA Cup season continued with the third round replays with these games played this midweek.

Stats: Newcastle v Birmingham

All the stats from Newcastle (3) vs (1) Birmingham, St James' Park, 18/1/17 Att: 34,896

Archived TOTT Articles

TOTT articles from

Site Journalists

TNMW
Editor email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Newcastle United v Rotherham United
Suggested By:
Newcastle win0%
Rotherham win0%
Draw0%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Newcastle 26 18 1 7 55 29
2 Brighton 25 16 6 3 54 23
3 Leeds Utd 26 15 3 8 48 11
4 Reading 25 14 4 7 46 3
5 Huddersfield 26 14 4 8 46 0
6 Sheff Wed 26 13 6 7 45 6
7 Derby County 26 11 7 8 40 5
8 Fulham 25 10 9 6 39 13
9 Preston 26 11 6 9 39 3
10 Barnsley 26 11 5 10 38 4
11 Norwich 26 11 4 11 37 3
12 Birmingham 26 9 9 8 36 -5
13 Aston Villa 26 8 11 7 35 1
14 Ipswich 26 9 7 10 34 -3
15 Brentford 26 9 6 11 33 0
16 Wolves 26 8 8 10 32 -1
17 Q.P.R. 26 9 5 12 32 -11
18 Cardiff 25 8 6 11 30 -10
19 Bristol City 26 8 3 15 27 -3
20 Forest 26 7 6 13 27 -8
21 Burton 26 6 7 13 25 -10
22 Blackburn 26 6 6 14 24 -12
23 Wigan 26 5 7 14 22 -9
24 Rotherham 26 4 4 18 16 -29
The Vital Football Members League
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News
Vital Football Comment

Recent Newcastle United Results (view all)

Newcastle United Fixtures (view all)

Jan 21 2017 3:00PM : Rotherham United (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Jan 28 2017 3:00PM : Brighton & Hove Albion (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 1 2017 7:45PM : Queens Park Rangers (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 4 2017 3:00PM : Derby County (H)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 11 2017 5:30PM : Wolverhampton Wanderers (a)
Sky Bet Championship
Feb 14 2017 7:45PM : Norwich City (a)
Sky Bet Championship

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Toon_NoMatterWot139
2.CuckFan138
3.keggy_keagal47
4.PieMag47
5.Mcnamee6739
6.Finn_the_Dog39
7.officemonkey29
8.The Pyrry26
9.billybobcat26
10.braith195217
Write for Vital Football